Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
