how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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