And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
