he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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