i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
