And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
