So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
