Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
