then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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