can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
