suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
