i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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