I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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