You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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