um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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