Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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