Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
