I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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