Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
