You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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