Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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