No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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