im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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