Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I look better un-naked...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
