Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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