Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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