I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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