it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
