32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
