capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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