from now on my penis is your penis
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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