I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
