'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
nutella sex= disaster
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
