i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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