I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
