Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
