I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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