Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
