im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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