shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
