Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
