My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
