dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
