Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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