you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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