everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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