This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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