i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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