i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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