im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
