I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
