we're chasing vodka with high fives
People with herpes should wear stickers.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
