Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
