My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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