Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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