he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
